Emotional outbursts…

So this is going to be a little bit different than my usual posts. I want to talk about how love is written in stories and how our own experiences shape the way we see it and describe it.

If we are all honest, there aren’t really many new ways to describe love when writing stories. Almost all the similies, images, and descriptive patterns have been used up over the years in almost every medium from writing to art to music. The heart shot with the arrow of cupid, the symbolic heart in a bright red, the bunch of red roses lying on the doorstep of someone you want to know, but are too scared to ever be that open. Even I have used these in some of my stories – and the bunch of roses frequently gets me a smile off my special lady.

But there are some things that we will never be able to comprehend or fully explain in writing, because the feelings are so powerful and unique to the individual it is almost impossible to write it down in a way that conveys it’s intensity. To prove this point, I am going to tell you about the very first moment I knew I was in love with my fiencee.

We had been friends for a while, exchanging messages on a well known social media network – I don’t like to advertise – and we had always been close. Thinking back, there were always strong emotions involved right from the start. The first time she sent me a message and added me as a friend, I remember a certain fluttering in my chest. I’d always cared about her, whenever she was feeling down, I would stay up all night trying to cheer her up with random nonsense, making sure that she was smiling before telling her to get some sleep, and that things would be better in the morning.
We had worked alongside each other in a local acting group, and even though we had been on stage together a few times, it was never directly opposite each other. I used to listen to her singing and I would feel my heart melting as she caressed the high notes and the world around me would fade away into a haze.
After a particularly difficult year for both of us, she invited me over to spend new years with her and her family. Being the eternal pessimist that I am, I expected nothing from it, only a couple of friends hanging out, counting down the new year. But that all changed when midnight struck. We saw in the new year with a hug, and as I was leaving, she saw me to the door, and as we stood in the cold winter air, my hands shaking for reasons other than the sub zero temperatures, we held hands and we kissed.
If I had the whole of eternity to try and covey the feelings I felt that night, I would still not be able to. Here was a beautiful, amazing woman, and she was kissing me. The feelings I had felt for so long finally made sense. It was more than just “liking” her or “caring” for her. I was in love, and the feelings I felt have only grown since that night.

I know it may sound a little silly, but it always helps me when I’m writing characters in love to remember that night. It was the night my life changed for the better, and I will never be able to repay her for what she has given me.
She’s recently gone off onto higher education, and I’ll admit that I am struggling with the distance. My hand feels empty without hers to hold, and I have an almost constant hollow feeling in my stomach. The pain I feel when we are apart is so intense that it feels like there is a part of me missing. I hope she knows how much I miss her.

All this helps me visualise heartache for my characters, the pain, the anger, and everything that hopefully makes the character seem more real.

But the joy I feel when we are together again is so intense, and it makes me feel like I can take on the whole world. As I said, you can never truly capture the essence of love in a written word, but if your lucky, you can see the passion behind the words, and know that the writer knows what it is like to be in love.

“Wherever you are, honey bear, I want you to know I love you with all my heart.”